The Rockies-Brewers game yesterday wasn’t even funny in its cruelty. This one doesn’t even deserve the bulleted list. Basically, the Rockies drove in 8 runs by the bottom of the 2nd, including a 2nd inning of 7 runs that seemed like it would never end. The bases got loaded, and then it was doubles and triples and homers, and all of these people kept running in, and it was like the beaches of Normandy for the Brewers. The third inning: three more. The fourth inning: five more. Tony Graffanino, the Brewers’ star second baseman, jumped for a catch and tore out his knee. And the Brewers went through every single pitcher they had there. Yost seriously almost had to get a position player to pitch the 8th and 9th inning, which would be interesting from the freak anomaly standpoint. The game ended at 19-4. It was funny, one of the announcers on the radio said “the Brewers are down two touchdowns now” and the other said “it’s like the score to a Broncos-Packers game”.

In other weirdness, that pitch that hit Jason Hirsch in the leg in the first inning yesterday, it turns out it BROKE his leg. And he pitched six innings. That’s pretty hardcore.

Pictures, soon, whenever I get around to captioning them. Brooms galore. I also found a new place to eat at the ballpark, there is this cluster of shops hidden behind a tavern that have a lot of non-ballpark food like deli sandwiches and gourmet pizzas that aren’t rubbery Papa John’s personal pan things. Yesterday I cheated though, and bought a bunch of sodas and water from the vending machine in my building at $1.25 each instead of $5.75 each, and then put an icepack in my bag. Worked fine, even in the 95 degree heat.

Three Cubs games this weekend, and I can’t even remember what’s going on besides baseball. I am trying to write on this book, and it is going somewhat. And the zine, it’s in stasis until I get a couple of bios and releases from people. The layout is pretty close though. And the artwork is on its way. I hope to get it to the printer in another week or two. Or three. We’ll see.

OK, on to that writing.

I didn’t plan it, but we went to the Rockies-Brewers game last night. Sarah got tickets from work, and she had to miss Monday’s game, so we went last night. Here’s the details:

• We were in section 133, row 27,seats 1+2. That’s on the floor, behind home plate, about two sections in from where the screen starts on the left, and about halfway back. Pretty damn close, and the first time I’ve sat in the infield box in a night game.
• The screen messed up my use of binoculars for the most part. And my battery charger fucked up, so my camera was non-operational.
• Remember yesterday how I said I never wanted to get a hot dog again? It was dollar hot dog night. I passed this up and got a bratwurst, but that didn’t go so well.
• Jason Hirsh was back on the mound after a very bad sprain of his left leg. So the second Brewers batter line drives it right into the same leg. Every medical professional in the state of Colorado is suddenly on the field, and I seriously thought they were going to take him off on a stretcher. But he walked it off, took a couple of test pitches, and was fine.
• Ed Bellorin is a catcher that spent nine years in the minors, and got moved up from AAA to the Rockies to play his first major-league game that night. (Ianetta got sent down, because he can’t bat for shit these days.) In the second inning, he jammed his leg and ended his ML start with a blown hamstring. That sucks.
• Slow game, but by the middle of the sixth, it was 3-0 Brewers, and it looked like they’d lock it up.
• I go to take a piss. The Rockies hit a homer and two singles before I’m able to finish. I go to buy some nachos. The stupid bitch at the register takes 45 minutes examining someone’s ID, and the guy behind the counter doesn’t understand English and I’m screaming “NACHOS NACHOS NACHOS YOU STUPID FUCK WHAT DO YOU THINK I’M TRYING TO GET MY PASSPORT RENEWED JUST GIVE ME THE FUCKING NACHOS NOW!” By the time I get back to my seat, Garret Atkins singles and it’s now 3-2.
• Pitching change. Double. Intentional walk of Brad Hawpe. Single. Everyone is total apeshit. Couple of outs. Five runs in one inning, three while I’m at the urinal, and it’s 5-3.
• Todd Helton homers in the 7th. Hate the goatee, love the home runs.
• In the bottom of the 8th, the Rockies get in two runs because the ball went right through Prince Fielder’s hands; this was his second bone-headed error. To be fair, Holliday dropped the ball in a very obvious way twice that night. And as a side note, one of those resulted in a Prince Fielder triple. That dude is shorter than me and weighs about 50 pounds more, so it’s pretty amazing to see that he can walk, let alone run. It was hilarious.
• Todd Helton then hit another home run, driving in two other players, and making the score 11-3.
• Someone hit a foul back over the mesh and into the second deck, and a guy in the front row just quickly raised his bare hand and whap, caught it. It was the best fan catch I’ve ever seen, and it looked like he did it without thinking. Also, at some point, Jamie Carroll hit a foul ball very high in the third deck – it looked almost like it was going to go out. That was pretty cool.
• I believe the Brewers went through four or five pitchers, and their bullpen is already pretty fucked. Also, Jorje Julio pitched for the Rockies for the 8th, and that guy’s a demon – I think his slowest pitch was like 96 MPH.
• Before the 9th, they announced that Barry ‘Juice’ Bonds hit #756, and they showed the video on the screen. Every single person in the park was booing. I’m thinking of bringing a sign to the park today that says BARRY BONDS – 756*.
• In the top of the ninth, two doubles got the Brewers another run, but that was that. Final score: 11-4.

I have tickets a few sections over but in the same row for today’s 1:05 against the Brewers. Then tickets up in the 330s for the Cubs on Thu, Sat, and Sun. Lots of baseball. I need to invest in some better food to bring in with me, though.

Last night was the first home game in a series against the Brewers. Lazy as always, so here’s the bullet list:

• I felt slightly conflicted about the game when I bought tickets, because aside from the Rockies, I think the Brewers are my second-favorite team. And I now have a certain connection to Milwaukee, they have a great park, they are also somewhat of an underdog, and they have been doing well this year.
• The Brewers came off a brutal loss to the Phillies that burned through their entire bullpen, so their pitching was hurt. But, they have a hard-hitting offense, and at 5280 feet, that means home runs.
• No sausage race. No Bernie Brewer. No bratwurst, other than the crappy ones they sell at Coors Field. So that removes about 80% of the Brewers experience, unfortunately.
• It rained before the game, and looked pretty dreary outside, so I was fearful of even going. It was also much cooler than when I got rained on at the Phillies game, which would make it even worse. But it kept dry for the most part, aside from a sprinkle or two.
• There were only about 30,000 people there, which is probably the lowest attendance I’ve seen for a night game. Part of that was probably the rain, though.
• Every once in a while, I will smell a hot dog that someone else has, and think “damn, I need to get one too”, and when I do, it totally sucks. This happens pretty much every time I buy a hot dog at a baseball game. I will never learn.
• I was in section 332, the first row of the second part of the section. So I had a railing right in front of me, and I had to sit up to see over it. Otherwise, not bad seats.
• I bought a set of 10×50 binoculars, and those made things interesting. I didn’t mess with them during the game a lot, except to see who was warming up in the bullpen. But before the game, it was a good way to look into the dugout and how it was set up, and to see the players warming up. Like I saw Matsui’s translator with him on the field before he got started.
• Josh Fogg was the starting pitcher, and wasn’t throwing down major strikeouts, but he really had a way to keep the hits on the ground and very fieldable, which pretty much shut down the Brewers.
• Prince Fielder and Ryan Braun each had single homers, and both were pretty impressive. Fielder’s went into one of the exit ramps in right field, and this horde of people ran down the ramp, as it bounced and bounced away, which was funny to watch.
• In the first inning, Matsui almost hit a homer (hit right below the rail, then bounced out), and then Brad Hawpe hit a three-run homer. At this point, half the people there thought the game was over.
• In the second, Matt Holliday hit a two-run homer, and most of the people there thought the game was over.
• Nobody scored after Braun’s homer for the rest of the game, and it became one of those “who’s going to fuck up defensively and let the other team score nine runs” games, but it kept pretty tight.
• This Harley dealership does this stupid big-screen computer animated game with three pigs on bikes and you have to guess which one is going to win, and I swear at least half of the Brewers players were intently watching it to see which one would win.
• The “guess who said the quote” thing between innings was a Bob Eucker quote, and after they showed the answer, they showed a shot of Bob in the box, and that got more applause than anything else that night.
• The Rockies announcer always announces Matt Holliday’s name “Matt Hall-iday!” for some reason, and it always confused the fuck out of me because of Bill Hall of the Brewers, and I wondered what happened if they were both in one game. But it turns out the Brewers were keeping Hall out to give him some rest. He almost came in to pinch hit for Vargas, and was on deck, but it never happened.
• Fogg continued to pitch well all night, and had a very low pitch count. Vargas, not so much – I think he had one of the highest pitch counts of his career. He also had a fielding fuckup where someone hit a ball right at him, and he tried to catch it with his pitching hand, and it hit and went on to the shortstop. So he fucked the play, and his hand probably smarted a bit.
• In the 9th, it got really edgy. Then Troy Tulowitski had two majorly stupid errors. One, he pitched to first, but like twenty feet too high. The other, he tried to get to first instead of second on a double play and fucked it up. I am becoming more of a fan of his, because usually his fielding is excellent, but man he fucked up that inning.
• Final score: 6-2. Cubs fans rejoice, we cut down their lead for you.

Pictures, eh, eventually. Check the photo page.

One thing neat to me about Denver is we get these absolutely killer thunderstorms. I am not sure if it’s the altitude, the lack of humidity, or the rapid temp changes, but sometimes you get these wicked bursts where you swear someone is standing outside your window with a strobe gun. And to watch it at night is absolutely amazing, the way the bolts of lightning jump from the horizon and arc up to the dark clouds. We never had weather like this in Seattle, because the mountain ranges broke it up. New York sometimes had some dramatic storms, but when you’re in a brick shithouse apartment and your only view is your neighbor’s brick shithouse, it’s not as dramatic as having a full horizon view. I guess if you lucked out and were high up in a tall building, it would look cool with the lightning and the city below you, though. Probably the last place I had really good t-storms was in Bloomington.

And that reminds me of… Summer Rain. And it’s 15 years since that summer happened, which is a huge mindfuck for me, because so much of it feels like yesterday. And so much of it seems three universes ago, too. Of the many things that I recall from then, one of the strongest memories is watching these absolutely overwhelming rainstorms. There’s a scene in the book, which I probably don’t do justice to the environment, but I’m stuck at the north entrance of the IMU, and it’s pouring inches and inches of rain, to the point where the sound is overwhelming, like hearing a frying pan full of hot oil gurgle and explode at full tilt. And when a lightning strike hit, the darkness outside would suddenly get this brighter-than-day flashbulb for a split-second, and you’d see everything outside again like it was high noon. And every night I had a show at WQAX, it poured rain. If I did two shows a week, it would rain Tuesday and Thursday. If I subbed for someone on a Saturday, it poured. If I couldn’t make a show, no rain. That’s where the book title comes from.

And it’s also weird that it’s been 20 years since the summer when I got my driver’s license. I’ve gone on about this too much, the job at Taco Bell, my first CD player, my first car. It’s always weird to have a nice even number slapped on it. I mean, saying “I’ve been driving for 17 months and 12 days” is nothing like “I’ve been driving for 20 years”. And that’s a million worlds away – I’m 20 years and 1100 miles from there, and every old yuppie neighborhood is now a Mexican neighborhood, and one mall is dead and the other is dying, and my old Taco Bell is now a Mexican insurance agancy. But if I go to the Taco Bell on Colfax and order a Mexican pizza and a nachos with a Mountain Dew, it’s like a time machine back.

Anyway.

Vs. Brewers tonight at 7:05, if it doesn’t rain. And again Weds. at 1:05. Cubs on Thu, Sat, and Sun. I am not a huge fan of the Lou or anything; it just randomly ended up that way. BTW I got the 2K7 baseball game for Playstation 3, and man I have no hand-eye coordination whatsoever. It uses every button on the controller in 7 different ways, plus joystick motion. I was damn surprised when I was able to actually pull off the simplest of single plays, and I think I got a batter to make ball contact maybe three times. The neat thing about this is it has a manager mode, where you pick your franchise, draft or boot players according to budget, set ticket prices, move people up/down from minors, all of this. Then you go through the entire schedule and play a season (or a season with less games) and for each game, you pick starting pitcher, lineup, etc. Then you can either sim the game (have the computer zap through and tell you who won/lost/etc) or you can manually play it, where you’re the pitcher or batters. Or you can just manage the game, where you go through pitch-for-pitch and say what you want the batter or pitcher to do. It’s fairly fast, and you can get through a nine-inning game in like five minutes.

Anyway, like an idiot, I picked the Rockies as my franchise, and I finished a season at like .228 or something horrific. A couple of things worked OK – I traded Todd Helton for like 65 other players, and got Kenny Rogers to pitch, which is a good fit for the starter-deficient Rockies. Since everything is pegged at the pre-2007 stats though, none of the real shining stars of the team are there. Matsui is in the minors, and if you bring him up, he’s not a great hitter. You have Kim pitching, and he has like a three-digit ERA, and absolutely nobody will take him in a trade. I tried to give him away and I couldn’t. So yeah. I only have two complaints about the game. One is, I wish after you simmed or managed a game, there was a way to watch highlights ESPN-style or something, or even sit through and watch all 9 innings in the real, 3-d stadium view mode. The other complaint is I don’t have the time to fuck with this shit. I should put the game away until after the Rockies don’t make the playoffs and it’s snowing outside, then I will manage like the next ten seasons.

Man I’ve wasted too much of my abbreviated day on this – I need to start writing.

I went to the last Rockies-Padres game of the series yesterday, which wasn’t part of the six-pack or the other two loose tickets I had, but just part of a general scheme to try and see each MLB team in play at some point. I think by the end of the year, I will be about halfway there. Anyway, a quick bulleted list:

• I am running out of witty observations about Coors Field, and paying more attention to the game. Fun for me, but it means I have less to write about here.
• It was HOT yesterday, close to 100, and even though I wore SPF 60, I got sunburned. I also wore my leg brace (because it’s acting weird lately) and now I have a perfect red circle burned into my knee, where there’s a little hole in the fabric.
• My seats were in 331 again, but in the last row, so there was a wall behind me, and I got a tiny bit of shade.
• A guy sat next to me that reminded me of the George Sibley character from Six Feet Under and talked to me through the entire game. Normally, I would have beaten him down, but he was a walking baseball encyclopedia, and we talked the whole time about the game, which was great. Because of this, I didn’t listen to my radio, but I didn’t really need to.
• A ton of kids were there, from some school or maybe a church thing. There were entire blocks of seating with just kids wearing matching bright yellow or bright orange or bright red shirts. Aside from the general congestion, the kids cheered at 100% for every damn thing that happened for about three innings, then they got bored and shut up.
• Aaron Cook (Who I still think looks like a pirate) pitched the entire game in only 74 pitches, which I think ties a MLB record. He also had three hits, all non-bunts which is not bad for a pitcher. In the 8th, everyone expected him to get switched out with a pinch hitter. When he came out to the mound and basically said “look, I’m not a pussy”, there was probably the biggest round of applause I’ve heard at that stadium, and everyone stood up and cheered him.
• The Padres has some monumentally stupid fielding errors. The Rockies had a couple of all-out-dive-catches that were excellent.
• In one of those Rockies catches, someone (and I forget who) dove and dug in, but caught the ball, but then a bunch of people came out on the field. Everyone was thinking “oh shit, someone got injured”, but it turns out everyone was staring down at this divot in the outfield, and a groundskeeper put it back, and all was well.
• Matsui was on second and there was a grounder hit out, and he probably should not have run at all, but he took off like a bat out of hell and made it home. That guy can run like a motherfucker!
• Todd Helton still needs to shave off that goatee. If he really wants to get traded to Boston, he should shave off that shit so they think he’s way younger.

Next game is the Brewers – actually I’m going to a day game an a night game. I need to find some better sunscreen. I’m also thinking about bringing a small soft-side cooler with a few water bottles in it, instead of paying $27.50 for a 6-ounce bottle of lukewarm water at the park.

I’m still at work on a couple of different writing projects, and getting the zine rolling will be the big 800-pound gorilla. I have almost everything in. If you’ve promised me a story, get off your ass and finish up, before the train leaves the station. (Okay, too many metaphors for today.)

First of all, I’m wasting a lot of times writing reviews on Yelp. So go to jkonrath.yelp.com and check that out. It would also be cool if some of you joined and hooked up with me. I don’t know why, but I know a certain lawyer in the Chicago area that has an encyclopedic knowledge of dive bars and Harley joints and it would be interesting to hear about some of that. Yes, it’s another one of those “create content for us so we can make money” things. But here in Denver, I’ve found that the only types of restaurant reviews are the prefabricated ones that linkfarm sites use that are essentially useless for finding a place to eat, or the newspaper reviews from the places that are completely brown-nosing the local restaurant scene, and providing useless information. Like all reviews for Best Indian Restaurant pointed to this one place, saying “they’re really authentic! they’re really formal! It’s so great! GLGLGLGLGLGLG!” and we went and it was on par with one of the places in New York where taxi drivers buy food between shifts. So, it was good to see an alternative, and I’ve found like 19 restaurants that I want to try out here. It’s also fun to rag on places in Elkhart.

I have been working on two writing projects, so I haven’t had much time to do anything on here. There is also some weird construction project across the street, where it looks like they’re stringing a huge piece of sewer pipe underground from one block to another. There are a couple dozen pieces of heavy machinery, a water truck, what looks like a CO2 or maybe coolant tanker, a ton of guys in orange vests standing around doing nothing, and about two weeks of jackhammering, concrete sawing, and other high-decibel noise that you don’t want happening right across the street from your desk. But it looks like it will end soon. And hey, I have a laptop now! I mean I did before, but now my main machine is a laptop, so it’s very easy to unplug and go elsewhere. I did that this afternoon: I had to bring the car to the dealer for its first 3750-mile oil change and tire kick. I sat in the waiting room with the laptop, logged onto their Wifi, and basically had my entire home setup with me, minus iTunes, iPhoto, and the big main monitor. But all of my mail, all of my writing, all of my files – it was all there. Very nice.

So it turns out (tentatively) that we are going to three of four Cubs games in August. We had tickets for a night game (Thursday, I think) and the Sunday afternoon game. Turns out one of Sarah’s coworkers is a rabid Cubs fan, and they bought a block of 100 seats in one of the upper deck sections. they’re having a huge roof party so everyone can get loaded on Old Style, then march over to Coors Field and act like heathens during the game. So yeah, we’re in. Well, I don’t drink though, so no Old Style. I’m also not sure where I stand on the whole Cubs thing. I realize a certain author in the Chicagoland area has a strong allegiance to the the team (unless maybe it is at the point of the season where he’s rebuilding his Lou Piniella hate shrine in his basement) so maybe I should choose my words carefully. In choosing my alliances, there are the following facts:

• Lots of family from Chicago; reinfornces that Chicago nostalgia thing.
• Many childhood memories of Hari Cari drinking excessively and singing drunkenly on WGN.
• The first year I decided to follow baseball, I picked the Cubs as my “hometown” team, since Indiana didn’t have baseball. They finished the season 64-98. I decide not to follow baseball for about 25 more years.
• I’m struggling with the concept of being a Rockies fan, and I’m starting to really like them.
• There’s the whole “support your home team” thing, and not wanting to be a total piece of shit like Yankees fans at away games.
• The Brewers are ahead of the Cubs by 3 1/2 games right now, and if there’s any team I would rather follow aside from the Rockies, it would be the Brewers.
• I realize Sammy Sosa no longer plays for the Cubs, but he’s a bat-corking piece of shit juicer (sorry, alleged juicer.)

So yeah, tough call either way. Maybe I will just not wear any teamwear and keep my mouth shut.

I have always named my computers after weapons of mass destruction, or general devices of warfare. I named my new machine 245t. Look it up.

My memory is still not here. Today, allegedly. I have 1 gig in now, and I will swap the 2×512 for 1×1 and 1×2 gig, so 3. Fun.

I am partially sick (probably from the rain, although everyone says getting sick from the rain is a wives’ tale, but it always happens to me) and it looks partially sick outside, so that’s not good. I’m also still mis-typing every third word on this damn keyboard. I should give up and go back to the old MS ergo.

I lied about only two more games this season – there are now 8. I bought one of the mini-series 6-pack deals. The new games are:

• Milwaukee Brewers – 06 AUG 2007 at 07:05pm
• Chicago Cubs – 09 AUG 2007 at 07:05pm
• Chicago Cubs – 12 AUG 2007 at 01:05pm
• San Diego Padres -07 SEP 2007 at 07:05pm
• Los Angeles Dodgers – 19 SEP 2007 at 06:35pm
• Washington Nationals – 24 AUG 2007 at 07:05pm

Those are all sets of tickets in the infield upper reserved. So right behind home plate, but up high. It was insanely cheap though – twelve total tickets for $216. I also have single day game tickets for the Brewers and Giants. And of course I’ll be buying those Rockies postseason playoff tickets when they go on sale. (Well, maybe not this year.)

Okay I am going to rewire the universe and get this keyboard figured out.

I know I said my next baseball game was the Brewers next month, but Sarah had to work today, and I thought it would be a good idea to see the last game in the Rockies-Phillies series. Pictures are here. Here’s the commentary:

• My seat was in Lower Reserved Infield, section 329, 6th row. If you know where the press box is behind home plate, there’s a set of corporate boxes above it, and then this section above that. The topmost concourse has two sets of seats, a handful lower, and a bunch upper, and these were the lower. These were actually really good seats, especially for $30, because you look right down at the entire field and can see everything.
• I got another Papa John’s rubber pizza kit, and it wasn’t as great as last time.
• It was 90 degrees out, and there was a chance of thunderstorms. I didn’t really think this would matter much.
• The balcony up on the 300-level has a really kick-ass view of downtown.
• The national anthem was sung by some paramilitary jesus-freak organization and they sang so bad, it was hilarious. Back when I worked in a theater and the first-graders would sing “Here Comes Santa Claus” for the christmas show, they would be more in tune.
• The game was a game, and a few things went on, but I won’t get into it. It was a game.
• I had my new AM/FM/TV radio, which made it a lot more interesting, except for when they went on endless commercial breaks.
• So in the 5th or 6th inning, it starts to get dark. There are lightning strikes in the distance, and thunder booms across the stadium. They turn on the stadium lights. Big clouds start rolling in. The guys on the radio say a huge storm is going to hit just after three. I look at my watch: 2:55.
• It starts raining. People freak out and start leaving. I don’t care too much. Remember the part about it being 90? I’m surprised they aren’t charging people for the rain.
• Then it starts really raining. The groundskeeper dudes are trying to roll the huge tarp over the field. Right after they open it up, these huge bursts of gale-force winds hit the field, and some of the groundskeepers hanging onto the tarp GO AIRBORNE. Half of the tarp flips inside-out.
• The Rockies have already retreated to the clubhouse. The Phillies are all on the bench, getting drenched. They see these dudes flying in the air, and the entire 40-man roster plus coaches and trainers runs out to the field and tries to hold down the tarp.
• I’m in the tunnel approaching my section, trying to take pictures. It is raining 90 miles an hour sideways into the tunnel. I’m about as wet as you would be if you stood in a shower for five minutes in your street clothes. It is pitch black outside, except for the stadium lights and the lightning.
• Outside of the section, there’s a narrow section where the roof sticks out about ten feet where it is more or less dry. About 20,000 people are in that section. It looks like a disaster movie, except they’re still selling beer.
• The radio station has used the rain delay as an opportunity to run back-to-back commercials constantly, except to come on every 20 minutes and say “still raining!”
• About an hour later, the rain stops. Half of the people have left, the rest are trying to dry off their seats with Papa John’s napkins.
• The tarp rolls off, and they quickly rake stuff and chalk down lines.
• Ten minutes later, it is blue skies and 90.
• The Rockies lose, 8-4.

Anyway, weird experience. And now I must go caption photos. Or not.