Norway

I mentioned on my birthday post that I was on the move for my birthday, and I was. This may seem counterintuitive, but I took a week off and went to Oslo, Norway. In January. Yeah, I didn’t think through this one at all.

I’ve been struggling to write a quick summary of this trip, mostly because the trip was… well it wasn’t awful, but it was tough. It was an experience, and I do always like to see a new country and just feel what it’s like, see the little differences, look at the buildings and see where things came from, what the history was like, what was torn down and rebuilt and destroyed and grown. The very first time I ever left the country–a quick bus trip up to Canada to see the Shakespeare Festival in high school–I remember holding a metric can of Coke in my hand and feeling how it was different in some weird way, and realizing there were 190-some other places like this on the rock we call Earth, and they all had these little (or big) differences. I always like that.

But this trip. The lack of sunlight really put the zap on me, as well as the food situation (vegetables this close to the Arctic circle are not really a thing, and I’m not a fan of fish), and the general aloneness of being by myself in a country where everyone knows English, but don’t necessarily speak it. In many ways, I was way out of my element and it all felt very bleak.

So I didn’t do much. I struggled with time, nutrition, navigation, and weather. I was asleep while everyone was awake and vice verse. The news cycle last week was… not ideal. I had my birthday in another country where I think I said a total of ten words all day, and that included ordering the absolute worst vegan pizza imaginable. (Don’t ask.) And every time I start writing my usual bulleted list about this week, it ends up being this bitch-fest of negative things, and I start thinking, “Why am I doing this?”

So, let’s not do that. Let’s be as zen as possible about it, and let me write a list of what I did like about this trip.

• I stayed in the Centrum district, which reminds me a bit of my 2022 stay in Stockholm, dusted with a few memories of the 2023 Iceland trip. It’s a mix of contemporary Scandinavian three or four story urban architecture of muted pastels and light brick, but many appearances of super-modern aesthetics with sharp edges and metal and glass walls. It’s all ultra-designed, efficient and well-built and wonderful to see.
• Neighborhoods are all incredibly integrated. There’s always a little grocery nearby. Trains go everywhere. There are abundant little shops. I went to dinner at one place that was in a complex of buildings, all built into a hill maybe ten years ago. It was a maze of passages, underground parking, small grocers, barbers, ramen shops, upscale restaurants, gyms, a small music venue, small shops, and apartments for young professionals. In the US, we try to build these fake city center places, and they never work out; they’re all half-abandoned except for a token Subway restaurant and a dry cleaner that’s never open. This was a fully-integrated system, a very cozy arrangement, where I could imagine never having to drive anywhere to meet my basic needs.
• The weather wasn’t bad, maybe 20-30F all week, and snowing, occasionally turning to slush. But there was something magical about waking up and seeing all the Scandinavian buildings dusted with white. And while I wouldn’t want to do this for the next 100 days, it was nice to walk around and feel the snow in the air and watch the people strolling to work all bundled up in their Arctic jackets and hats.
• The Edward Munch museum was awesome. Seeing “The Scream” in person was great. But that building and the Opera House across from it, as well as the gigantic public library looked like matte paintings from the background of a Star Trek movie, just super-modern looking architecture. That whole area is absolutely striking with its futuristic buildings are all so perfect well laid-out. They didn’t just slap down square buildings next to each other for the whole block; they’re carefully placed, and then in between them, there’s an ice skating rink or a playground or some botanical garden or something, or it carefully leads up to a set of piers on the waterfront. And of course it’s all punctuated by frequent bus lines and streetcars and a perfectly laid-out subway system. The urban planning is absolutely next-tier there.
• Driving from the Oslo Gardermoen Airport to Centrum in the middle of the night was sort of amazing. Yes, I’d been awake two days, and yes it was not great weather for the drive. But that E6 highway, the 45 minutes or so of traffic is all carved into hills, surrounded by evergreens, and everything was blanketed in snow. This was only the third time I’d ever driven a car in another country, the first with my new international driving permit. (The other two are Canada and Iceland.) It’s always fascinating to me to see the new signs and minor details, and of course everything in Kilometers.
• I stayed at the Thon Rozencrantz. They gave me a top-floor suite with a separate living room, and a nice set of windows that overlooked the west part of Centrum, with the Royal Palace on the horizon in the distance. Free breakfast every day, and while there were some oddities (brown cheese?) it was the standard eggs and bacon and whatnot every morning.
• One night I drove to the Sandvika Storsenter, a large mall about 20 minutes outside the city. It’s interesting to see a place like this with basically no anchors or hypermarts and lots of local shops and brands, softlines and upscale apparel. There weren’t a ton of people out on a Tuesday, but it definitely wasn’t a dead mall at all.
• I’ve written about my obsession with Surge soda a while ago, and how it was one of the factors in me working on my second book. Anyway, Surge was in Norway, but it was called Urge. I tried a can, even though I can’t drink sugar like that anymore. It tasted like I remembered, though.
• I ate an absolutely excessive meal at this Michelin star restaurant and every part of the meal was stupendous and way too much and something I’d never eat (lots of fish, not just reindeer, but reindeer heart) and it was awesome, even if it took me 24 hours to recover. It made me realize these places are more like performance art, the way the server explains all the crazy combinations and where they came from. My server would rattle all this off, and it was great, but then I’d see her telling the same story a few minutes later and it made me think this was much more of a theatrical thing, in addition to culinary.
• This is dumb, but I always think it’s hilarious when I fly halfway around the world, and there’s 7-Eleven. I never thought back in 1988 when me and Ray and Larry were loitering at the now-gone 7-Eleven in Elkhart that I’d be going to one in Ho Chi Minh City or Singapore or Stockhole. The one thing I got in Oslo that I’ve never seen before were dried dates that had various flavors to them. The one I liked the most was sour cola flavored. No idea where I’ll ever see those again, unless I go to Denmark or something.
• Norway is 100% cashless. I never even got any local money the whole time I was there.
• I complain about the language and the complexity and the ø and å and æ and such, but I think Norwegian is maybe as complex as German, but in different ways. Some words are very similar, but I think pronunciation is a bit easier and grammar is way more simple. Maybe I need to spend more time on that.
• As much as I go on and on about the lack of sunlight and the weird angle of the sun during the day, there’s something interesting about seeing it, the odd golden hour that makes you feel like you’re on the surface of an alien planet in a Christopher Nolan movie. It’s not ideal, but it’s a real blast to experience it.
• I did meet up with a writer I managed back in 2021 who I’d never actually met in person. She was in Bangalore, but moved to Norway three years ago, and it was good to catch up. And I think that was one of the real high points of the trip, not only because she is awesome, but because I’ve been thinking a lot about community and connection, and these dumb trips shouldn’t be about going to see some random museum or record store or largest ball of twine. I should be planning these trips entirely around seeing old friends again, or new friends I’d never met. Why am I not doing that?

I didn’t get many great pictures, and I only captured a few videos on my phone while I was walking around. But the memories are amazing. I have a very clear view of sitting by the maritime museum in the snow. I’d arrived early, before the big tour busses rolled in, and hiked around the Bygdøy WW II Navy Memorial on the waterfront. The snow was whipping down, and I trundled around maybe four inches of fresh powder on the waterfront. I was entirely unprepared, jeans and New Balance tennis shoes, mid-cuff in this snow, walking around the Bygdøynes ferry terminal, looking at this 19th-century three-mast ship sitting in the water. The Oslo Fjord stretched out in front of me, the island of Hovedøya on the horizon. Everything was so crisp, cold, and quiet, the snow blanketing all sound. This was Norway, in the purest sense. I didn’t care about the food or the jetlag or the loneliness or the cold. This is what I needed.

And yeah, why am I not seeing anyone anymore? If you’re ever in the Bay Area, the email’s still jkonrath @ this domain. Or pitch me why I need to come see you. Let’s do it.