Dispatches, thoughts, and miscellanea from writer Jon Konrath

New glasses

I got new glasses yesterday. My last ones were from the end of 2005, at a LensCrafters at 8th and Broadway, after I found out I can’t get Lasik. I actually got two pairs yesterday, a daily driver and I got the lenses replaced in my Ray-Ban sunglasses. I am not 100% happy with them; in both new pairs, it seems like the lenses are thicker. I ordered them with the super-ultra-whatever gradient or whatever they call it, the shit that makes the lens thinner, but costs an arm and a leg. The regular glasses are slightly bigger, so that’s probably it. The sunglasses, I wear them so infrequently, it could just be my imagination that they are thicker. Also, the glasses feel a little more brittle to me, or breakable. I had a pair of those Nike frames you could tie in knots without damage, so these ones are a little less invulnerable. I wish I could have afforded a few pairs of frames and lenses, so I could switch out every now and then. But average frames are like $300, and I think my lenses are like $500, and I would probably be better off making three car payments and wearing the same glasses every day.

I am having a party in Las Vegas on 1/20/09. Those of you to the left will recognize that date as the last day of the Bush presidency, and a quick google search shows that many people are counting the seconds until that day. But any of you who read this site might remember that January 20th is also my birthday. (It’s also Bill Perry’s, who is usually there with me.) And what magical gifts have I been given over the years? A Richard Nixon inauguration, two Reagans, one HW, and two GW Bush. I turned 10, and everyone was glued to the TV to watch Ronnie raise his right hand. I turned 30, and not only could I not get anyone to go to Vegas with me, but I ended up running into an ex-girlfriend at my hotel. Oh, and my other gift was 8 years of George W Bush.

I’ve written letters to both Clinton and Bush four times asking for an invite to the big party in DC. No dice – I guess you have to be politically or financially geared in to get the hook-up. So that’s why I’m trying to think of some kind of plan to capitalize on this and have a kick-ass party in Vegas. I’m open to any ideas, but I am thinking I will create a web site, spam all of the anti-Bush sites, make t-shirts, have a picture of Geo and take off a piece of clothing every time I reach another level of funds, whatever.

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Kick in a buck or two if you’re with me. The more money I get, the fancier the bash. Right now, I think I can afford the 50s McDonalds in Henderson, or maybe the Hot Dog on a Stick at Fashion Mall, but I’m hoping to upgrade that. And if you can actually come out to Vegas, by all means, you’re welcome to join us.

Gotta get the dentist on the horn – this temp crown is coming loose!