Category Archives: general

Bank of Fucking America

Here is a quick example of why customer surveys don’t work, and why I should not be allowed to complete them after taking heroic doses of allergy medication. Okay, I have been a Bank of America customer since 1995, which … Continue reading

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Zen and the Art of Breathing Wrong

I guess I breathe wrong.  I’ve known this for a while, but I think every shrink I’ve ever met has told me I need to breathe deeper or take a meditation class or something.  This week, my breathing is worse … Continue reading

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Fieldstones and Moleskines

I know I said I don’t do new year resolutions, and I don’t.  But one of the things I’ve been trying to do – it’s more of a course-correction for my post-40 memory loss – is writing down every damn … Continue reading

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Twenty years of e-publishing

I have been e-publishing for just a few days shy of twenty years.  Not twenty months.  Twenty years. Back in 1989, my friend Ray started a zine.  We listened to a lot of obscure metal, thrash and death metal, and … Continue reading

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Muy Dangeroso

My neighbor, a 14-year-old gay Puerto Rican boy named Raul, knocked on my door, dressed as Howard Cosell. Raul had some weird cosplay issues, and frequently went to The Ramrod in Chelsea dressed as a member of the Houston Oilers … Continue reading

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New story in Weirdyear: “The Log Lady Incident”

I’ve got a new story in Weirdyear called “The Log Lady Incident”.  Check it out here: http://www.weirdyear.com/2012/02/2312.html Favorite paragraph: “YOUR MOTHER SUCKS HER GUATEMALAN OPTOMETRIST!” We sat at a 4-way stop, and Odin kept screaming insults at a group of … Continue reading

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Longest Novel Ever

I’ve been vaguely thinking about scraping some of the old essays I’ve posted here and turning them into a book, so I imported all of my old entries on rumored from 1997 to present into Scrivener just to see what … Continue reading

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The Allure of Used Media

I was just reading today about some rumors surrounding the system that’s being called, for lack of a better name, the XBox 720.  It’s supposed to be coming out in late 2013 or 2014, which is bad for a couple … Continue reading

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41

I turn 41 today. Five years ago, I ate dinner at Per Se in New York.  I had a twelve-course meal that cost something like $750.  Then I went home and watched the movie Idiocracy.  Then my iTunes library crashed, … Continue reading

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The Cult of Keyboards

As I approach the end of my 40th year, my body is falling apart.  Okay, that may be an over-exaggeration, but every morning, it feels like another piece has been overextended or abused or mutilated, from the various discs in … Continue reading

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