The Earworm Inception is FREE on Kindle this weekend!

My 2012 book The Earworm Inception is free on the Kindle this weekend!

Check it out here: http://www.amazon.com/The-Earworm-Inception-ebook/dp/B006U44EIY

The Earworm Inception is a collection of twenty bizarro and absurdist flash fiction stories. It’s hard to describe the overall story, except maybe a twisted morphing dream you’d have after eating bad Chinese food and recreationally abusing cough medicine right before bed.  It’s a fun read, and perfect for those of you with ADD who aren’t going to sit down and read Infinite Jest in one clip.

Normally, the book is only 99 cents on the Kindle, but from June 8th to 12th, it will be available for free.  You don’t need to own a Kindle or have an Amazon Prime membership, and the book is yours to keep – it’s not a loan.  You can read it on a Kindle, or download the Kindle software on almost any phone or PC, or even read it in your browser in Amazon’s cloud reader.

I need your help!  Please tell any of your friends that might enjoy twisted fiction by forwarding on this link, liking it on Facebook, tweeting it, or posting it elsewhere.  And if you get a chance, please leave a review on Amazon or Goodreads.

Here’s the linkage:

Thanks in advance for checking it out!

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Fistful of Pizza ebook is FREE on the Kindle store this weekend!

My book Fistful of Pizza is free on the Kindle this weekend!

Before I even explain anything, go here and download this thing immediately at Amazon.com.

Okay, here’s the deal.  Fistful of Pizza is a short story collection of nine different pieces of bizarro, absurdist goodness. It’s a print book, in a fun little pocket size, but it’s on the Kindle, too.  Don’t take my word for it though; read this excellent review from my pals over at Metal Curse.

Normally, the book is only 99 cents on the kindle.  But for the next five days (4/13/12 to 4/17/12) it is FREE.  And not just if you own a physical kindle, and not for some one month borrowing period.  I mean, anyone with an Amazon account can buy it for zero dollars, and you can then download it to any kindle or kindle program, or read it online forever.

Why am I doing this? A couple of reasons:

  1. As a thank you to all of you who have read my other stuff.
  2. As an intro to those of you who haven’t read any of my stuff yet.
  3. Because I really, really want to get the book’s rankings up, and every download helps.

I need your help!  Please download the book.  But also, please tell your friends or anyone you know who has a kindle or likes weird and twisted humor to check out the book.  Post this on your facebook or twitter or mail it to a friend or do whatever you can to spread the word on this!

A brief FAQ:

Do I need a Kindle to read this?

NO.  The kindle software is available for just about every phone, tablet, or PC out there.  If you happen to be on an Amiga or web browsing on a VAX or something, you can also use Amazon’s cloud reader and read it in your web browser.

Do I need Amazon Prime to read this?

NO.  Anyone with an Amazon account can read it.

I’m one of those people who hates ebooks and only reads paper books.  What the hell?

There is a paper version of the book available.  It is excellent.  Unfortunately, it isn’t free.  Dead trees cost money.  Tell you what – if you buy the paper version and ever run into me, I’ll buy you a beverage of your choice.

I’m taking a music theory class. How can I memorize the circle of fifths?

Freaky Chicks Go Down After Every Beer.

What else can I do to help?

Aside from downloading a copy and telling all your friends, if you like the book, please rate it and review it.  And please tag it on Amazon, if you’re into that sort of thing.

Okay, here’s the linkage:

The book on Amazon:
http://www.amazon.com/Fistful-of-Pizza-ebook/dp/B0055LH4ZI

The book’s home page:
http://www.rumored.com/fistfulofpizza/

At goodreads:
http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/12391442-fistful-of-pizza

Thank you in advance!  I hope you get a chance to check out the book.

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New flash fiction at Horror Sleaze Trash

I have a new piece of flash fiction, “Dwarf Meth Madness, Again”, over at Horror Sleaze Trash. I’m very happy to get a piece in HST, as it constantly publishes high-caliber Bukowskian poetry and fiction.

This story is tangentially related to one I had in Weirdyear back in January.  A brief quote for your Easter Sunday:

I also grew up in a town that banned Christmas, and renamed it Jesus Day.  Obese city cops with sniper rifles sat in towers at the edge of town, picking off anyone who dared to dress up like Santa.  We used to score a christmas tree from this dude that also sold heroin in the train station.  Just one fix.

Check it out: http://www.horrorsleazetrash.com/flash-fiction/jon-konrath/

As with all of the stuff I’ve been publishing like this on other sites, if you like it, it would be great if you could click the like button, leave a comment on the site, or pass it along to any like-minded degenerate friends who are into this sort of thing.

And if you haven’t kept up with the influx of stories coming out, head over to the Published Writing link.  Pretty much all of those stories are available to read for free.  And all of the books are on the Kindle for way cheap.  Thanks for reading!

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New Story at In Between Altered States

I’ve got a new piece of flash fiction over at In Between Altered States.  It’s called “The Locality Principle” and is actually something that dates back to when I was hashing out Rumored.  Check it out here: http://inbetweenalteredstates.wordpress.com/2012/04/02/the-locality-principle-by-jon-konrath/

Also, Paragraph Line went live today with the re-launch in its new online format, starting with a story by John Sheppard.  Check it out over at ParagraphLine.com.

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New story: “I Believe I Can Flee the State”

I’ve got yet another story over at Justin Grimbol’s site, His Cock is Money.  It’s called “I Believe I Can Flee the State”.  If you’ve never read a story about R. Kelly in a high-speed car chase with a stolen Oscar Meyer Weinermobile, you probably want to check it out.

Completists will realize that this isn’t a new story.  It’s actually an excerpt from The Earworm Inception.  Most of the stories in that book originally started as blog posts, but that’s one of the only stories that never appeared elsewhere.  So now you can read it for free.  (Of course, you probably should just spend the 99 cents and get it for your Kindle to read the other 19 similar pieces.)

Anyway, story link: http://hiscockismoney.blogspot.com/2012/03/by-jon-konrath-jkonrathrumored.html

 

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Summer Rain, now on kindle

So I spend all week editing a book that’s set in Indiana University, and my news feeds explode with news about IU basketball. Weird how that works sometimes.

Anyway, I’m proud to announce that my first book, Summer Rain, is now available in a new edition on the Kindle, and will soon be available in print on Createspace.

This is a new third edition of the book, which contains some very light edits to correct minor typos.  There was also one change in book three involving Bloomington street directions that nobody ever caught, but now the ordering of streets when driving from Mitchell and Atwater to Colonial Crest is correct.  (Sorry, OCD.)

For those who have never heard of this before, my first book is a fictional account of a summer I spent in Bloomington, Indiana in 1992.  Bloomington is one of those midwestern college towns that normally has something like 40,000 students, and overnight in May, it becomes a beautiful little ghost town of nothing but townies and people stuck in summer school.  This was the point in my life when I didn’t know what the hell I was doing, and was about to flunk out of school.  I was dead broke, just got dumped, dealing with some heavy depression issues, and doing my fair share of self-medicating with barley and hops-based compounds.  I was also deep in the world of underground death metal, writing letters to obscure bands in Sweden and Japan, trying to publish a zine, and DJing a late-night show that nobody listened to.  And this was the apex of the internet, the beginning of the explosion of technology that’s making it possible for you to read this crap.  I worked with computers, these giant VAX mainframes, and ancient Macs and PCs.  So I spent a summer trying to figure out what the hell to do with life, if I could ever make money on music or if I should pursue this computer thing, and of course always trying to figure out love and romance and sex and friendships and everything else that constantly burns at a 21-year-old’s brain.

This book is huge – 710 pages in print form.  When I first self-published it in 2000, the cheapest I could price it was $29.99, and I made almost zero money on it.  But it wasn’t about the money – I just wanted to do this as a tribute to all the people who knew me back in 1992, and to those who grew up in that era, slumming it on college campuses and hacking away at C and Pascal programs in the days before the web.  So now I’m very excited that I can avoid the dead trees and make this available for only $2.99.  This isn’t the kind of writing I do anymore – it’s very much “straight” literature, and a labor of love.  But I have a lot of fond memories of that era, and of putting this thing together.

And if you do like killing trees, the CreateSpace edition will be out soon.  It will be $15.99, which isn’t three bucks, but it’s cheaper than $30.  The book’s a huge chunk of wood, and you can’t get around the pricing situation on a 710-page book, but CreateSpace did make it considerably cheaper, for the same quality book.  And I finally get to ditch that godawful cover on the first edition.

A lot of people helped me with the book, and there is now a thanks page listing them.  Thanks to everyone listed, and if I forgot you, please tell me and I’ll update it.

Okay, here’s the link to go get it on amazon.  Thanks to everyone who has checked it out!

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Win a free copy of The Earworm Inception

Want to win a free copy of my new book The Earworm Inception?

I’m running a book giveaway on Goodreads.  If you enter, you have a chance of winning one of three print copies.

(Fine print: you have to be a Goodreads member, which is free, and you have to be within the US.  You don’t have to give me your address or email or first born or any of that stuff.  No entry fee.  No colonoscopy, like the last giveaway.)

Click here to get more details and enter:

Goodreads Book Giveaway

The Earworm Inception by Jon Konrath

The Earworm Inception

by Jon Konrath

Giveaway ends March 15, 2012.

See the giveaway details
at Goodreads.

Enter to win

While you’re there, it would be nice if you added the book to your “to read” list, suggested it to a friend, or wrote a review.

Now go enter.  I’d rather give these books to regular readers than the various shut-ins that enter every Goodreads giveaway and then try to resell the junk on eBay.

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New story in Weirdyear: “The Log Lady Incident”

I’ve got a new story in Weirdyear called “The Log Lady Incident”.  Check it out here:

http://www.weirdyear.com/2012/02/2312.html

Favorite paragraph:

“YOUR MOTHER SUCKS HER GUATEMALAN OPTOMETRIST!” We sat at a 4-way stop, and Odin kept screaming insults at a group of ten-year-old kids waiting for the bus. “YOUR ECONOMIC PREDICTION MODEL OF THE VIETNAMESE GOVERNMENT IS USELESS IN A TARIFF-BASED ECONOMY! KILL YOUR DENTIST! DO IT NOW!”

I had another story there a year ago, “With Sleep, All Things Are Possible”, which ended up in the collection Fistful of Pizza, which is available for only 99 cents on the kindle.

Weirdyear’s also got a lot of other good stuff within the same wheelhouse, so be sure to check out the other authors there.  And that bit about chopping up Sudafed tablets and snorting them in my story – not medical advice.  Don’t sue me if you try it.

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My new book, The Earworm Inception, also in paperback

You know that new book I posted about the other day?  Well, the print version is now available, too.  So if you’re not cool with all this kindle stuff and still like to read your books dead tree style, check it out over at amazon.

The print version is 134 pages, and costs $8.99.  It’s also eligible for Amazon’s current “4 for 3” deal, so if you go buy three eligible books, you can get this for free.

This book’s a collection of 20 short stories or flash fiction pieces, and is designed to be cheap and a good short read.  This book is perfect for those with ADD or ADHD.  In fact, it’s so good, you could probably just mail me all of your unused Adderall and I’ll just send you a free copy of the book.

And if you are down with the kindle version, it’s only 99 cents.  If you’re also an Amazon Prime member (and in the US, and have a physical Kindle, not just the app on your phone) you can read the book for free.

As always, every time you mention the book on facebook or twitter, write a review, or hit that like button on Amazon, an angel gets its wings.  (Unless you are a Satanist; then it goes to hell or something.)

The links:

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New Story at Three Minute Plastic; 2011 in review

Happy Firestorm!  (Or whatever holiday you celebrate in December.)  I had a Firestorm miracle this week.  I wanted to lose a few pounds before the holidays, and I caught the stomach flu.  I lost four pounds in two days!

I have a new piece of flash fiction in issue 7 of Three Minute Plastic, A Journal of Dark Humor and the Truly Bizarre: The Machine. Yes, Giants fans and enemies, it has to do with that dork with the beard.  It’s 400 words and it’s free, so click it, read it, do it.  And while you’re there, check out the bits by E. M. Jeanmougin, John H. Dromey, and Joseph J. Patchen.

I also recently posted a piece, Art Garfunkel is My Copilot, over at The New Absurdist.  There’s some interesting stuff going on over there, although most of it is from this surrealist writer from China who makes daily posts about sales on imitation handbags.  Must be some parody of consumer culture.

On the subject of free, I didn’t do as much as I wanted in 2011, but you can go read With Sleep, All Things Are Possible at Weirdyear.  And there’s an excerpt of Rumored to Exist over at Indie Books List.  I have a couple of other pieces that will show up in early 2012, and my new year’s resolution is to get off my ass and submit as much as possible next year, so stay tuned.

As far as the premium (i.e not free) content, a couple of new things went out this year:

  • Fistful of Pizza is a new collection of ten short stories that appeared elsewhere, now all in one nice little volume.  It’s only 99 cents on the kindle, and there’s a print version, too.
  • Rumored to Exist also hit the kindle, for $2.99. I also put a new print version on CreateSpace here. It’s the same as the previous print version, with a few corrections, a new cover, and a cheaper price.

So if you got that new Kindle Fire for Firestorm (or some other holiday), point it in that direction and get some great stuff for cheap.  Thanks!

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